New member in your close relationship?!-Joanne Tsai
Smart Phones Change Communications Of
People!!!
2012
is a year that smart phones start to gain their prosperity. No matter which
generation you belong to, smart phone is a new member in your close relationship. It exists everywhere: in classroom, in dorm, in our daily life. We can
say that we are strung by smart phones due to the innovation of smart phones
let us contact to each other closely.
Smart phones have an
access for Internet no matter where we are, directly
impact the connection of our close relationship. When we are having reunion, dating
or eating out with friends, we may check our smart phone will-less. But this
small act brings big influence. “It would upset or provoke me if my girlfriend
kept using smart phone when I’m talking to her”, Cigam, a freshman in Chemistry
Department said. Another male student Shaya said,” No Way!!! I will be very
angry about this! ”
Though smart phones do many advantages to our life,
they may also do negative impact to us. It’s better for us to moderate using of
smart phones when we get alone with others. After all, what really important is
the one who keep company on his or her own.
Critics
1.
Claire: You need a subtitle.
2.
Ruby: The forth sentence “We can say that we are strung by
Internet.” Is kind of strange because your last one and latter one are
talking about SMART PHONES, not Internet.
3.
Claire: Second paragraph can be revise into that” smart
phones have an access for Internet “ instead of “Smart phones give us access to
Internet”
4.
Tina: For the last sentence, maybe is better to change the words his or
her to "our"? Because in the one before it you said ”us” and when
”we” use.
5.
Claire: (after I ask if I shall change my statement into Smart phones have
us an access for Internet )u don’t have to emphasize on people get access
to internet. It’s sure that only PEOPLE can use Internet.
